While it may seem counterintuitive to say so, often times when we as adults “help” the child, we are actually robbing him of the opportunity to grow. Real growth comes from real experience, not simply watching someone else do something. I cannot learn to tie my own shoes by simply watching you tie yours.

In the Montessori environment, children are given the opportunity for real life experiences on a daily basis to practice the skills they need to develop independence. In fact, there is an entire component of the Montessori curriculum devoted to the acquisition of these specific skill sets called “Practical Life”. The purpose of the Practical Life materials and exercises is to help the child develop a sense of order, coordination, concentration, and independence. In this area of the classroom, children have many open-ended activities available to them throughout the day. These activities would include: pouring grains of rice or water from one vessel to another, using tongs/tweezers/spoon to transfer a wet or dry medium from one dish to another, folding socks, using clothes pins, stringing beads, even sewing! There are wooden frames that allow a child to practice using a zipper, fastening buckles/snaps/Velcro, buttoning traditional buttons and tying shoelaces. One of my favorite components of the Practical Life curriculum is that the child may repeat the activity as long as he has the desire to do so. The ability to have open-ended practice is why Montessori children achieve independence so quickly.

The children then get to practice these skills in the “real world” of the classroom by: serving themselves snack (pouring juice or milk and using tongs or a spoon to serve the food portion), putting on their own jackets and zipping them up, putting on their own socks and shoes after napping, and folding up their nap bedding. Because the Montessori environment operates at “child speed” vs. “adult speed”, a child can spend 20 minutes putting on his shoes without being rushed or having an adult swoop in and complete the task for him. The satisfaction a child gets from mastering a new skill is priceless!

“Any child who is self-sufficient, who can tie his shoes, dress or undress himself, reflects in his joy and sense of achievement the image of human dignity, which is derived from a sense of independence.” – Maria Montessori

In addition to directly preparing the child to care for some of his own needs, the Practical Life materials indirectly help prepare the child for his academic journey in the Montessori classroom. The hand strength and coordination that the child gains from manipulating the tools in the Practical Life activities prepare him for the job of holding a pencil. The concentration, control and sense of order needed to complete the Practical Life exercises help prepare him to use more complicated and time consuming Montessori apparatuses in other curriculum areas of the classroom. The independence the child gains from successfully completing the Practical Life activities gives him the confidence to attempt more challenging work.

If you would like to incorporate some Practical Life activities into your home life, here are some suggestions:

Dry rice or water to pour from one small cup to another

Dry pasta, two bowls and a small spoon as a transfer activity (the child using the spoon or his hand to move the pasta from one bowl to the other)

Tongs to pick up pom-poms or small dry beans to move from one vessel to another

A rolling pin and play dough (or real dough) with cookie cutters

A small basket with clothespins so the child can clip the pins around the edge of the basket

A dishwashing sink or basin with soap, a sponge or scrub brush

A basket of loose socks for the child to sort and fold

A small washbasin, soap and brush with objects to be scrubbed (sea shells, or the child’s own toys work well)

It is important to remember that these activities will not be spill proof or mess free! Include a small broom, dustbin, and mop or towels in your at-home Practical Life activity zone. Cleaning up after oneself is also part of the Practical Life curriculum! In fact, children quite enjoy sweeping and cleaning, and can often be found doing so in the Montessori environment.  Enjoy watching your child gain independence and confidence through the practice and repetition of these activities.

The purpose of the Practical Life materials is to allow the child the time to learn the skill sets that each activity is designed to address, but also to help the child develop the hand strength and control needed for handwriting. Children will demonstrate both of these skill sets in the classroom when they serve snack to themselves and others, when they clean tables after lunch, sweep up after a spill, and of course when they begin to work on their handwriting by recording their work.

To give children some continuity of experience, I often suggest that parents incorporate some Practical Life opportunities in the home. (My son’s favorite activity at 2 years old was dish washing!)
I also recommend giving children the chance to help out around the house by doing some age-appropriate chores. Children genuinely enjoy contributing to the family, and teaching them these skills early helps to foster independence and responsibility. It may take a lot of practice, but eventually your child can be a partner in keeping your home clean and helping out the other members of the family.

Here are some examples of age appropriate chores for children:

Toddler:
Put dirty laundry in hamper
Bring diapers/wipes
Wipe table with cloth
Assist with hand washing
Assist with putting away toys/books

Age 2-3:
Put dirty laundry in hamper
Tidy up toys/books
Fold face cloths/tea towels
Set table
Throw away trash
Bring diapers/wipes
Dust baseboards
Begin to dress themselves
Put on socks/hats independently
Sweep floors

Age 4-5:
Water plants (inside and outside)
Make bed
Feed pets
Tidy bedroom
Prepare simple snacks
Wash/dry dishes
Clear table
Wipe up spills
Fold socks/put away laundry
Dress themselves
Vacuuming (hand held)
Put on socks and shoes independently

Keep in mind, every child is different, and may require different levels of assistance/guidance. Here are some guidelines:

1. Give details. Explain what the chore entails, and what materials the child will need to perform it. A child has no frame of reference when you say, “Just dust the baseboards!” You must explain what the baseboards are, and that a damp cloth and some water will be needed to complete the task. Show them which rooms you would like them to clean.
2. Be patient. It will take your child a lot longer to perform these tasks than it would take for a grown up to do them. Make sure to give an appropriate amount of time for the job so you are not rushing the child.
3. Be mindful of language. I find that the way I present a chore makes a big difference in the child’s willingness to participate. I might say, “Wow! You are 3 years old now, and that means you get to help me set the table! How many plates will we need?” Imagine if I used the word “had” instead of “get”. The child would hear, “You are 3 years old and you have to help me set the table.” It sounds a lot different, and will be received very differently. If you present these chores as opportunities to learn something new, or to use a new tool, children are generally eager to participate.
4. Be consistent. Once you have found a few chores that are developmentally appropriate for your child, start a chore schedule. (eg. Daily chores: set the table and make your bed. Weekly chores: tidy bedroom and help fold laundry on Saturday.)
5. Show gratitude. Give your child genuine thanks for contributing to the household, and congratulate them on a job well done!

I am a firm believer in helping children to develop the skills they will need to become functional young adults. Both the Montessori environment and the home are the perfect places to support this progress towards independence.

As a parent, I sometimes think of the holiday season with equal parts joy and dread. Of course, I’m excited about the family gatherings, the sharing of traditions, the gift giving, and the food! But I’m also a bit apprehensive. The high activity and energy level that the holiday season brings can also translate into over stimulation for children. As the adults around them get stressed about making plans and coordinating events, this stress trickles down the younger members of the family resulting in crankiness, temper tantrums and generally uncooperative behavior.

There are some tactics that parents and caregivers can use to help keep the holiday season festive instead of frantic:

1. Let children know what events you will be attending that day, how long the events will last, and who will be there. Children appreciate this information! Knowing what to expect beforehand gives the child the chance to process and predict how the day will go, and allows them to approach new people and places with a sense of confidence.
2. Don’t force a child to give affection. Pushing a child to hug someone unfamiliar to them sends the message that their body space and comfort level are not important. Before you arrive at the event, give your child some options for greeting friends and relatives if they feel uncomfortable or shy- waving, smiling, or saying hello are all acceptable choices. Giving your child choices helps him to feel that he has some control over the situation.
3. Try to keep to regular sleeping and eating routines as much as possible. Tired and hungry children are not going to be on their best behavior. Keeping some healthy snacks in the car for long drives can help to counteract the effects of too many sugary treats.
4. Don’t over schedule. Over scheduling=over stimulation. Over stimulation happens when a child is swamped by more experiences, sensations, noise and activity than she can cope with. When your child becomes over stimulated, she will find it very difficult to focus on anything, even things she would normally enjoy.
5. Watch your own stress level. The holiday season is supposed to be fun! It stops being fun when we put unreasonable pressure on ourselves to create “The Perfect Holiday”. Your child isn’t going to remember the flawlessly wrapped gifts, or the precisely arranged table setting, or the 8 different side dishes that you prepared from scratch. She will remember the decorations you made together, and the songs you sang in the car, and the hot cocoa you sipped in front of the fireplace. Those are the kinds of experiences memories are made of. Give yourself permission to not be perfect and to just enjoy watching your child take in the wonder of the season.

Happy Holidays!

Have your child’s toys taken over your home? Are you noticing that your child isn’t even playing with most of the toys he/she has? If you answered yes to either of these questions, you are in need of a Montessori home-modification!

Often times as parents, we think that we have to give our child as many choices as possible, “Do you want to play with your trains, your cars, your blocks, or do you want to chose a puzzle?” While I am a huge advocate for giving children choices, there are times when less is more. Having too many choices available to the child can often be overwhelming and over-stimulating. If you find your child is having a hard time deciding which activity to chose, that is a good indicator that it is time to make some organizational changes.

Step 1: Sort through your child’s toys/activities and determine if any of them are no longer age appropriate. These items can be put away for a younger sibling, or donated to a friend or charity.

Step2: Pack up at least half of the toys and activities that are age appropriate and put them in the garage/closet/storage area. Make sure your child knows that you have not thrown his/her things away and that he/she is not in trouble.

Step 3: Create a schedule for trading out toys from the stored items. You may want to trade everything out yourself once a month, or you may want to allow your child to trade out items more often, or one at a time. Remember- if an item comes out of storage, another item must be put away to replace it!

Step 4: Organize the toys and activities that you have opted to keep available. Keep each item in an individual box or container so that the child can easily find an activity and put it away after using it. See-through storage boxes work well because the child can locate what he-she is looking for quickly and easily.

Step 5: Initiate some playtime rules- “You may take out one toy or activity at a time. When you are finished playing with that item, it must be put back in its container before you take out something else.”

If you follow these steps, I would expect you to notice some fairly immediate changes. Due to the limited selection, your child will actually show more interest in the available toys and activities than he/she did before, even when the same items were available! The limited selection and organized space allows your child to focus on one activity, rather than being distracted by so many options. Your child will also be able to find what he/she is looking for quickly and easily, curbing the frustration that children can feel if things seem overwhelming. Clean up should also be very straightforward for your child as every activity will have its own container!

As with any new routine, practice makes perfect, so keep reinforcing your new rules until they become second nature. Make sure to compliment your child on the great job they are doing keeping their space neat and tidy.

Meaghan McClung, Oct. 2018