PARENTING IN THE DIGITAL AGE

Resources for parents and caregivers

Parenting in the Digital Age

Does screen time affect parenting?

By Meaghan McClung, Ahwatukee Foothills Montessori Inc.

Most parents are at least somewhat aware of the effects of screen time on a child’s brain development, but have you ever thought about the effects of screen time on your brain? Specifically, have you ever thought about how your screen time affects your parenting?

Physical Effects on Adults:

While adult brains are fully developed, our habits do have an impact on our brain health. It is well documented that excessive smartphone use has a negative impact on sleep habits, but you may not be aware of some of the other possible physical effects:

Headaches and eyestrain
Neck, back and shoulder pain
Obesity
Addictive behaviors
Poorer cognitive performance

All of the above are good reasons to set some limits for your own screen time, but what happens when we also take a look at how screen usage affects our parenting? www.reidhealth.org

Let’s start with the core capabilities that adults need to be able to function effectively at work and at home: planning, focus, flexibility, awareness (self and environmental), and self-control. In the realm of the science of brain development, these skills are categorized as self-regulation and executive function. Self-regulation helps us navigate our environment by assessing situations and managing our responses. Well-developed self-regulation enables us to achieve both productive actions, and appropriate responses. Executive function is the set of thinking skills that help us remember our goals, plan the necessary steps to achieve them, and change course when needed without getting distracted. developingchild.harvard.edu

We’ll come back to this.

How many of us are using smartphones?

The latest numbers show that in 2024, 90% of Americans own a smartphone. Narrowing the numbers further, 97% of Americans ages 30-49 currently own a smartphone.

oberlo.com

How much time are we spending on our smartphones?

The latest data for adults in the U.S is as follows:

explodingtopics.com

What does this data say about our parenting?

To recap, 97% of U.S adults between 30- 49 own a phone, and we are using those phones about 4 hours per day. The average age of first-time parents in the United States is 27.3 years old for new mothers, and 30.9 years old for new fathers. We can reasonably conclude that the vast majority of new parents and parents of young children own and use smartphones. Could we have guessed this, sure, but the data backs it up.

Remember when we said we would come back to the part about how executive function helps us to resist distraction? Here we are.

Distracted Parenting

Distracted parenting is not a new term. As the use of smartphones and technology has permeated almost every aspect of our lives, the results of distracted parenting are becoming more noticeable.

Infants learn social cues through eye contact with their caregiver. Children learn how to communicate verbally when an adult caregiver engages them with “serve and return” exchanges. When a parent’s eyes and attention are focused on their phone, they are missing, and sometimes ignoring, valuable opportunities to facilitate their child’s development.

Some of the momentary behaviors that researchers observed in children when their parents were distracted by a mobile device were: increased rate of injury, harsh responses from parents for minor incidents, and escalating misbehavior from children as a bid to get the distracted parent’s attention. Less obvious, longer term effects of distracted parenting are seen in children’s social and emotional development. Children learn how to decipher and control their emotions through interactions with parents, and when these interactions are inconsistent we see delays in emotional development. Studies consistently show that children with digitally distracted parents show delays in language acquisition. Children of distracted parents often develop negative behaviors as a way to “compete” for their parent’s attention. If the parent’s distraction becomes chronic, the child’s negative behaviors can become risky and even dangerous in an ever-increasing bid for attention.

According to a 2024 Pew Research study, 50% of parents with annual household incomes of $75,000 or more say they spend too much time on their phone. The same study indicates that 46% of teenagers surveyed said their phones distracted their parents when talking to them, with 8% saying this happens often. Interestingly, when the parents were asked the same question, only 31% thought this happened regularly. www.pewresearch.org

It is human nature to recognize behaviors in other people, but to have a “blind spot” when it comes to our own self-awareness. The simple fact is, if you are a parent and you own a smartphone, you are distracted. So what can we do about it?

Here are some suggestions to help parents reduce their own screen time:

Track your screen time: Use your phone’s built-in screen time function to see how much time you actually spend on your device.
Turn off notifications: Limit notifications to essential apps like calls, texts, and emails. This reduces the urge to “check your phone”.
Practice mindful eating: Put your device away and focus on the meal and family conversation instead of what’s on your screen.
Create time for other activities: Make time for activities you enjoy, like exercise and family time. www.heart.org/en/news/2024

The bottom line is, if we want our kids to listen to us, if we want to have a rewarding and personal relationship with them, and if we want them to develop the social and emotional skills they need to navigate the world, we have to make sure they know we are listening. We let them know we are listening by making direct eye contact, asking thoughtful questions, and engaging with them in meaningful conversation. We can’t do any of those things if we are on our phones. And, if we want to be healthy parents, both mentally and physiaclly, who will be around to become healthy grandparents some day, it might be a good idea to take a look at our own habits.

Screen time is over.

Source material:

https://www.reidhealth.org/blog/screen-time-for-adults

https://developingchild.harvard.edu/science/deep-dives/adult-capabilities/

https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2024/03/11/how-teens-and-parents-approach-screen-time/

https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/Media/Pages/Parents-of-Young-Children-Put-Down-Your-Smartphones.aspx

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11469-019-00182-2

https://longevity.stanford.edu/lifestyle/2024/05/30/what-excessive-screen-time-does-to-the-adult-brain/

https://www.oberlo.com/statistics/how-many-americans-have-smartphones

https://explodingtopics.com/blog/smartphone-usage-stats – smartphone-use-in-us

https://www.draliabadi.com/womens-health-blog/dangers-of-distracted-parenting/#:~:text=Children%20of%20digitally%20distracted%20parents,into%20risky%2C%20dangerous%20behavior%20problems.

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2018/07/the-dangers-of-distracted-parenting/561752/